


The things I haven't told Myself

by SarcasmLand



Series: Snape, Shaking [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood, No longer a one-shot, Self-Harm, poor Neville, snape is a bad teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24705511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasmLand/pseuds/SarcasmLand
Summary: One dark night after curfew, Severus Snape is slapped in the face with just how bad of a teacher he is.TW TWfor blood, self-harm, maybe also verbal abusebasically this is dark don't read it if you're having a bad day
Series: Snape, Shaking [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799746
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The things I haven't told Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [SkiaShadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkiaShadow/pseuds/SkiaShadow) for the beta.  
> Seriously don't read this if you don't want to be sad.

In a dark office lined with jarred eyes of merlin-knows-what floating in eerie beige fluid, Severus Snape graded papers to the light of a fading _lumos_. His wand floated a foot or so off of his desk, emitting a flickering light as his quill kept up a steady stream of wrong, wrong, barely passable, wrong again. This was the the type of challenge Severus liked, wandless magic where no one could see it or care, and he used it to occupy the copious amounts of his brainpower that were wasted on the idiocy of third-years.

As he shoved another essay into the graded pile, taking pleasure in the corrections that covered every corner, Snape poured a tad more of his magic into the spell, and the light brightened.

He looked up. There was a _drip_ , _drip_ , _drip_ coming from the closet of old potions equipment.

Severus knew what it was before he looked - the ruined remains of yet another melted cauldron, courtesy of none other than Neville Longbottom, the idiot. The boy had been through enough without Severus provoking him, but somehow the man couldn’t stop himself. Still - today had been bad. For the first time in many years, Severus Snape saw a memory he didn’t want to see.

 _Useless_ , he’d muttered, vanishing the potion. _You’d think a wizard of your… parentage… would be able to manage something more_. Then he’d sent the cauldron to the closet with a flick of his wand, and thought nothing of it. It was only when the potions master had turned around again that he’d realized the extent to which his rant had hit Neville. Out of anger or misery, the boy was shaking. But in moments, his friends had raced to drag him out of the Potions dungeon, and there was nothing Snape could do.

He grabbed his wand out of the air and quelled the dripping sound with a flick of it.

The door slammed open. Standing there, wild-eyed and red-faced, was Neville Longbottom. His robes were torn at the sleeves and the seams, and he hadn’t bothered to hide the dark red drops that were falling from his pocket. Neville grabbed at the pocket, wincing in pain, and pulled out a glint of silver. Pointing it at Snape, he gasped for air.

“ _You can’t tell me_ ,” he said, stumbling forward. “ _You can’t tell me anything I haven’t already told myself._ ”

Then he turned and ran before Snape could get out of his chair.

Severus slowly sat down, head in his hands. If anyone else had walked past his open door that night, they would not dare to tell you who they saw shaking.

**Author's Note:**

> So I think this situation could end up two ways: either snape decides to actually become a good teacher and helps some students enjoy the art of potionmaking, if not Neville specifically, or he continues to be a crappy excuse for a human being and shoves all his regrets deep down inside forever. As always, I hold out hope for a mentorSnape future, but this is probably a one-shot. EDIT: nope, not anymore! go read that other bit!  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Goodbye.


End file.
